I loved being a VISTA volunteer. Dumping my life and heading off into the sunset to begin a new chapter was an adventure of a lifetime. I'm a December baby, and we like to travel. My Grandfather once told me I was a rolling stone because I was always on the move. He also strongly suggested I run for Mayor. Running for Mayor as an Anglo woman, who was not Morman and sympathized with the Indians, was not a good idea. God bless him for suggesting it though. I loved that man.
Working as a VISTA meant you were on the ground, working with real people with real issues. I love getting my hands dirty. The White Mesa Ute program had been established for 25 years. In that time, hundreds of volunteers came to SE Utah to work. Some stayed and called SE Utah their home. I met some amazing people during my tour. All were unique.
Working at the Edge of the Cedars State Park Museum enabled me to get involved in economic development. Economic development meant helping raise funding for the program, working with people in a position of decision making and meeting and working with Hopi, Zuni, Apache, White Mesa Ute and Navajo people. It also meant working with Mormans.
I have a soft spot in my heart for Mormans; with only one exception, every Morman I have met have been gracious and kind and welcoming. The exception however, came one night when I was invited to go to dinner in Cortez, 100 miles away, with a seemingly nice Morman man from Salt Lake City. The Museum was sponsoring a meeting regarding site stewardship and he had come down to Blanding for it.
Getting out of town was always a big deal as a VISTA. Offered FOOD and getting out of town was even better. He seemed like an interesting man, who was a Deacon in his Church, educated with a big State job. Family man, loads of children. I had accepted dinner in Cortez as a friendly opportunity to talk about site stewardship, Utah, whatever. He was closer to my age then any of the VISTAs. It is nice to talk to someone your own age ocassionally. I found out a lot on that 100 mile ride to Cortez. He had other ideas about why he invited me to dinner. I was stuck. No cell phone service. I'm in a car with someone who was a little too off the charts for me and we hadn't made it to Cortez yet.
The skies in Utah are clear and dark and that night, the stars were incredible. I suggested we stop the car and look at the stars. I needed to get out of that car for a bit. As we stood staring upwards, he moves in to kiss me. Holy Toledo Guacamole I was shocked. I pushed him away and reminded him of his wife and family back in Salt Lake, and he said it was ok, I could be his celestial wife. Celestial Wife.
What in the world was a celestial wife?? I asked him. You're a married man with a capital M as in Morman. Turns out a celestial wife is a woman a Morman man can "take" and, how do I put this delicately, use, for lack of a better word, without the benefits of marriage. And intercourse. All "good" Mormans have celestial wives. Brigham Young said so. Huh. Being a celestial wife was ok as long as there is no intercourse. I guess if you aren't technically fucking someone, the wife and kids are ok with it. Huh.
I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere with a man who thinks he's going to get lucky and find him a celestial wife. Not a chance in Hell. I played it cool and kept him talking while saying we need to get back to Blanding. I wanted out of that car. He insisted on buying me dinner in Cortez. I wanted out of that car. I decided if I could keep him talking I'd be ok and I wasn't in a position to start walking back to Blanding. We were 50 miles out of Blanding.
We went to Cortez, had a very uncomfortable dinner, I had two martini's out of spite becausehe was paying (Morman's don't drink) and we made it back to Blanding. I am no one's celestial wife.
I couldn't believe the utter gall of the guy. I still can't believe I got back safely. He was a Deacon after all, and I would think a dead body would impune his standing in the Church. There are a lot of places to hide a body though, in the desert. I shared my story and was told to keep it on the down-low. The guy was a somebody up in Salt Lake City and nothing really happened. I wasn't harmed in any way. My dignity was hurt but that was about it. I had to work with the guy but I was sure to do it from a distance.
Celestial Wife My Ass.
